survival & healing,
the making of a vampire mother,
a twilight fan film.
this site explores what lies beyond the chronicles.
I have always been someone who finds meaning through stories.
They have been my way of understanding the world, of making sense of love, loss, devotion, and the quiet moments that shape us over time. Stories are where I feel most grounded. They are where I return when life becomes overwhelming, and where I begin again when something within me needs healing.
I am a trauma survivor, but survival is not where my story ends. Survival gave me the opportunity to continue, to choose what kind of life I wished to live, and the courage to try, even without the promise of success. I care deeply about gentleness, truth, and the protection of those we love. It is often within the worlds of fantasy that I have seen these values embodied with a clarity and conviction I have rarely encountered in the ordinary world.
Through storytelling, I found hope in turning page after page of characters who endured their trials and rose again, like a phoenix from the ashes. In witnessing these journeys, I discovered the strength to endure my own. As someone who has often felt out of place in the world I was given, it was through storytelling, and through the art of cinema, that I found a place to belong. It became a safe space where creativity could flourish, and where I could follow beloved characters as they set off on yet another adventure.
Like the authors and filmmakers who created the worlds that shaped me, my hope is to carry that kindness forward through my own writing and film. I hope that my work may one day become the same kind of sanctuary for others that those stories once were for me: a place of familiar characters and shared wonder, where we may step away from the noise of the world for just a moment and disappear into the fantasy realms we love, following the lives of the characters who inhabit them until the credits finally roll.
One of the worlds that remained with me long after the final page was Twilight. Not simply as a romance, but for what existed beyond the dazzling vampires: a theme as old as time itself, and almost as old as some of the vampires within it — family. A chosen family, built on unconditional love and loyalty that stretches across time. Twilight is one of many stories that helped shape who I am, and it is one I hold with great care.
The Cullen Chronicles: Legacy – 1935 grew from that place. It is a professional fan-made film, created with deep respect for the original work and a desire to explore what was left quietly between the lines. My filmmaking journey is not the whole of who I am, but I do hope my work reflects the way I try to move through the world: thoughtfully, devotionally, and with a deep respect for legacy.
What follows here is the work I am creating, the stories I am writing, and the life that exists beyond any single project.
Hi, I’m Lily.
This site exists for three purposes, each one close to my heart:
01
1935
02
The Lost Journals of Esme Cullen
03
Beyond
1935:
My Film Journey
A space to document the process of creating the feature-length fan film The Cullen Chronicles: Legacy – 1935 as a first-time screenwriter and director. From pre-production and casting to the behind-the-scenes world of independent filmmaking, this is where you’ll find updates told through the lens of a woman learning, building and creating her first professional cinematic project.
The Lost Journals of Esme Cullen
Before I step into Esme’s shoes in 1935, I’ve begun reimagining her long life through photography & writing.
On my in-character Instagram (@esmeacullen), you’ll find the shorter, visual storytelling: glimpses, scenes, and moments.
Here on the site, under The Lost Journals of Esme Cullen, you’ll find the full chapters: deeper reflections, expanded stories, and the written voice of a woman shaped by love and loss, now living an eternity beside her mate, Dr. Carlisle Cullen.
Think of Instagram as the preview.
This site is home to the complete story.
Beyond
Beyond is the space on this site that means the most to me.
It is a place of quiet refuge where readers may set aside the masks we all carry, those that allow us to appear composed, untroubled, or neatly defined, and enter conversations grounded in honesty, curiosity, and compassion. It is the place beyond appearances, where our shared humanity matters more than the things that might otherwise divide us.
Here, I write about the matters that weigh deeply on my heart: health and wellbeing, the lived experience of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), trauma and grief, and the dignity and humanity of people from every walk of life, culture, and identity.
These writings are not offered to instruct or persuade. They are gentle reflections shaped by my own journey of learning and unlearning, an invitation to approach difficult subjects with openness, respect, and understanding, so that together we may grow in empathy, wisdom, and truth.